Take Pride In How Far You’ve Come

Hi All,

It’s been another great week filled with lots of twists and turns along the way, this week I had my hair colour topped up again back to my bright vivid red that I love and adore, a lot of people come up to me and say “I  don’t think that colour looks right on your hair.” Well to all those people my hair colour is me I have gone from bright red two years ago to black to brown and then to brown and blonde. Then I thought back to when I used to have my hair red and I thought about all of the fun that I used to have when my hair was bright red and now I feel like I need to go back to being that person that I was so I have gone back to red to make it clear to people that I am comfortable with who I am when my hair is this colour.

Then as my close friends will know on the last few weeks of college my anxiety and stress levels rose to a point where I was having panic attacks and was therefore scared to get behind the wheel of my car, well I have now successfully finished college and last Friday I decided to drive over to one of my friends houses in Stamford with my mum in the car as company. For the first time in my whole driving career I didn’t feel any anxiety at all and I loved it!! I never thought that I would be able to accomplish something so quickly. Must thank him for a great meal and for a fantastic night as always.

Furthermore the next day we have been having lots of visitors from across the road to see us and see how we are and if there are any jobs that they can do for us and a few years back talking to people wasn’t at the top of my priority list I used to just go and lock myself in my bedroom or go and hide somewhere whenever we had visitors because I used to be unbelievably shy, partly because I always felt different around other people and as though I didn’t quite fit in. Thanks to a few friends of mine (you know who you are) I am no longer as shy as I was and I can quite proudly stand up and say “I am gay so what?”

Also this week I have realised just how great life can be as I was walking round one of my local towns with my mum I just stopped and thought that at one time I would’ve been scared to bump into people that I used to know from either my secondary school or the Primary that I used to go to, now I don’t worry as much that, that is going to happen and just stand my ground and hold my head up high because I know deep down that I have got nothing to be ashamed of. Yes I have made mistakes in the past who hasn’t? But it’s accepting those mistakes as you and moving on. I have also come to realise that I have got three extremely close friends that I can almost call family, one of which if I hadn’t met him when I did I would not be the person I am today, I would constantly be feeling like and outsider and as though I am not wanted anywhere. His partner fits in great as well and he does all sorts for both me and mum and together they both cheer us up when we are feeling down. Another one of my friends, he is a lot quieter than the other two but both me and him like the same pieces of technology and we tend to end up on our phones discussing apps whenever we meet up, which is more often than it used to be which is lovely. When I am with my three friends I can truly be myself.

Furthermore I love setting up different pieces of technology for people, getting them working so that they work properly for that person and also for the purpose that they were intended for in the first place. Doing this helps keep me relaxed and as quite a lot of people will say shut up for a minute or two.

One of the biggest tips that I have got for people that suffer quite often with anxiety is to try and look and focus on today not the next day just today and write down a diary of all the positive this as they happen and the feeling you get when that thing happens, so that when you get down you have always got something that you can look at to remember the good times.

Ok this is now me signing off for another week, please make sure that if you have got any questions or comments about the blog, if you could just post them below that would be brilliant.

This is the quote that I have chosen to represent my week this week

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